My thoughts on love

I've been promised so many things in my life and got nothing till this day. Every man comes with a list of promises and no intention of keeping them. It's sad that I can't believe a word that comes out of any mans mouth. Everything sounds like lies and games to me. Because every time I let my guard down and let myself believe in what is said to me, it only ends up being all lies and games. Is my life really supposed to be this way? Where nothing is real. Everything is just a game... Hurt you before you hurt me... Leave you before you leave me... Be the last to catch feelings... Let you chase me, and me not chase in return? I thought this "love" thing would get easier as I got older but the older I get, the less I believe in it. I'm really beginning to think that real love, just doesn't exist anymore. That love I once believed in and hoped to feel one day, is nothing more than a childish fantasy. It saddens me to come to that realization. The one is never the one. When the relationship with the one ends, you find another "the one". There are no soul mates, just happenstance. There is no endless love because love isn't real, and this new thing they call love, doesn't last long. People don't fall in love anymore they just end up in situations that are good til they're not so good and then they part ways. No one stays together to fight for anything anymore. It's so much easier to give up and walk away, move on and bring the same shit into something new. No one wants to stay with one person and work on problems, just pack up whatever issues you came with and start something new with someone new, until those same old issues start to show they're face. Then repeat the cycle all over again. Love is a thing of the past. Our grandparents were the last generation of true lovers. It all went down hill from there, breakups and divorce is the new thing. So staying and fighting, and working things thru is not even an option. Cold hearts, shut down feelings, and selfish minds are the new way to be. Everyone is too out for themselves and prideful, too busy protecting their feelings instead of projecting them. Too busy loving themselves more than they love the person they supposedly love. 

I can't put my belief into finding something that just doesn't exist anymore. Love is dead. And I'm done hoping for it. 

"New year, New me..." Ehh.

 

While that "New year, new me" ish gets tired & old... I've made a list of things I need to change moving forward in life period, not just into a new year. While being an introvert and struggling with depression will make these really hard to do at times... I know I need to train my thoughts, which can change my actions. 

**** I'm posting it for accountability.****

1- Live more in the moment, and less in my head. I catch myself doing this way too much. I have a tendency to analyze, re-analyze, and overanalyze, then go back and analyze my overanalyzing of my analysis (lol) of every damn thing I do, say and think. Sometimes it's just really not that serious!

2- Stop handing out Fs. With my natural hair journey I've been, in a sense, liberated... and have cared a lot less about others' opinions of me. And while I've always kinda walked to the beat of my own one man band... there are these moments where occasionally I catch myself giving a few Fs, especially when I absolutely shouldn't. It's human nature to care how you make people feel, but if they're intent on feeling a way about you for no reason, no matter what... That's when it becomes their own personal problem. 

Says a lot about you if you're not feeling me. *shrugs

3- Be happy. My happiness isn't contingent on someone else's. I should do things I love, not what I think will appease to someone else's skewed view of me. If they don't like it... Too damn bad. 

4- Love freely and wholly. I tend to build a barrier that prevents me from doing so. while it's good to safeguard my heart from undeserving D-bags and A-holes... It's not ok to sabotage, and push away the good. I've done that a few too many times. 

5- Be less critical... Of myself. My toughest critic is me. And the one I'm most critical of... Is me. I know all my flaws and I find myself reminding myself of them whenever I get the chance. If I don't like it, change it. If it can't be changed, then I need to embrace it... And that critic in my head needs to have some seats and shut the hell up. Bound and gagged. 

6- Ditch the unsupportive people in my life. I have enough negativity bouncing around in my own head... I only need supportive people in my corner, not people routing for me in my face, but betting against me behind my back... Those mf's can all kick bricks with socks on. RS

7- Be less negative. In my practice of being a "realist", I've noticed that I'm a lot less optimistic than I should be. "I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist" ...things pessimists say. I have to admit my view is more pessimistic than it is real. I start everything with the expectation of failure, "falling doesn't hurt so bad when you're prepared to catch yourself and break the fall." But how can you enjoy the ride if you're so busy waiting... Pretty much planning the fall?

8- Stop dimming my light so that others can feel like they shine brighter. In my natural sense of being humble, I allow myself to shrink back in situations so that others can feel better about themselves. A lot of times in me doing that, that same person mistakes my humility for a lack of confidence and thinks (or pretends to think) they're better than me. Nah son. I'm learning I need to cut that ish out. I know I'm a baddie... (And I don't need confirmation, affirmation or permission to feel that way) I just don't feel like I need to proclaim it, but I'm definitely owning it, and imma start flaunting it. 

9- Work to completion on everything I've been planning on doing. Some are just ideas... Good ideas. Others I've started, but let my negative thoughts convince me to not finish. 

10- GET BACK TO BEING ME. 

Sleepless in NY: diary of a mad, black, insomniac

I have no peace of mind because my mind is never at peace.

 Its always racing, running, wandering to where it should not be.  Can't sleep at night because it never turns off, never shuts down, never eases up. Thoughts of what should be, could be, and would be fly thru my brain on a non stop loop. From one thought to another with out a break. Like a flight non stop with no stop over from New York to Japan straight away and back again with out even landing. 

No sleep, no rest, I'm always tired because my thoughts of yesterday's yesterdays haunt me... taunt me. And the thoughts erupt emotions I thought were buried long ago, but they rise like a resurrection; fresh and new like it just happened. 

All I want to do is sleep, fall at a sufficient time and rise at a decent one. But with the sleeplessness playing on my thoughts, dreams, feelings and emotions, I feel I could just fall asleep forever and never wake up. 

The sadness consumes me in the darkness of my room and the feeling of lonesome ness and helplessness spins me around in a dance I'd rather sit out. Swaying me, turning, twisting and dipping me relentlessly, all to the extended version of a  song that I can't stand. 

I just wanna sleep, close my eyes, mind on mute... Better yet turned off. 

I can't help but wonder if I'll ever get that sleep in my lifetime. Or will I have to wait the rest of my life, for the rest of my life; when it all finally fades to black... Sounds fade to a comforting mute... And I feel nothing at all. Now that sounds peaceful... Peace in mind... Mind at peace... Peaceful rest... Resting in peace.

I like being single... dammit!!

Being in a relationship / marriage blissful (when you're with the right person). But being single is also a blessing.  Why isn't it viewed that way?

When I tell people I'm single / celibate they always give me that "Aww... I'm so sorry to hear that" look, as if my arm's gonna fall off from leprosy; and then take a step back, like its contagious.

It's funny to me though, because that same person "feeling sorry" for me, I have the REAL pity for. They're usually the one who SHOULD be single. It's always the on in an effed up relationship / situation who always wants to either give advice, or tries to be condescending to us single folk.

Fact is: I'm single because I wanna be. It wouldn't exactly be hard to jump into a random relationship- for the sake of saying I'm in one. And it would be less hard to jump in bed with some random dude- for the sake of saying "I'm gettin' some".

But 1st of all:
there's way too many VD's, STD's, STI's... and new ish out there for the latter to even be fathomable.

And most importantly, 2nd of all: RELATIONSHIPS DON'T VALIDATE ME!!

So don't look down your nose, dont tilt you head to the side, and don't attempt to solve the enigma as to why I'm not with someone.

Lol... its ok... I'm good.

organix

I swear I should be the spokesperson for this stuff as many bottles I have on hand and as much as I talk about and advertise for in my astore!! Smh... it works, sulfate free, paraben free, decently priced, and they ALL smell amazing. Can't beat that! http://beautypureandsimple.com/

Todays not so bad after all.

People who get depressed on this day really shouldn't. Real romance comes from the heart and is an everyday thing. Romantic gestures should be spur of the moment, on any given day, just because I love you. Gifts should given and graciously received, not demanded and expected on a day that holds no personal significance in ur relationship. Its a regular day! And on that note.

Happy Monday!

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Check Arthur G Pugh's you tube channel.

if you're missing his posts you're really missing out. http://good2bdaking.com

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Infatuated

Kept it hidden for so long, didn't want it to get out.
Felt it would ruin me if people found out.
Sneaking around
Trying not to make a sound
Try as I may this feels too good to keep in.
Don't want no one to hear, you know these walls are way too thin.
The neighbors downstairs can only imagine what the hell we're up here doing.
You got me in a daze, a trance, under your spell
You know exactly what you're doing to me, I can tell.
Touching me in places I never knew were there
Saying all the things I need and want to hear.
Spilling that sweetness all up in my ears
Strumming my emotions nearly bringing me to tears.
All good until one night, I slipped. I couldn't help myself although I tried.
As I moved my body to the rhythmic beat you provide
Move for move I matched you as I moved in silence
But you did this one thing, striking my mouth's defiance.
I'd hoped only to mouth the words I couldn't help but say to you
But before I could catch it, my voice broke through.
Damn that was much louder than expected
Aw man... now look at what you've affected.
Okay, okay... it wasn't all you. I'll take part. Of the blame
As long a you agree to do the same.
Masterfully pieced together, his brilliant work of art.
Ha! I couldn't help myself, that's my favorite part.
And you know it gets me every time, every time... Every time.

Neighbor's banging on the wall; psh... no wonder, its a quarter to five
Once again damn near breaking day all courtesy of you
And that there thang you do.
But damn it! Our secret's out, now they know
I'm having a long term love affair with

my radio.

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New post coming soon!!

Coming up with something to write about. Inspiration lost.

Random thoughts

As I sit on my stoop, enjoying this refreshing breeze. I think about us
women and our craziness.

I truly believe that women with low self esteem are conceited on the
low. I mean who else wants and/or needs to hear "you're pretty" on a
constant basis? A: Conceited chicks. What ugly woman, who knows or
thinks she's ugly is going to ask and wait for another person to confirm
they're ugly? If I know I'm fat I damn sure don't need to hear it from
someone elses mouth. Nor do I wanna see you squeamishly lie and say "No,
not at all".

My favorite is when a woman (especially a sistah) asks her man: "Do
these pants make my butt look big"? Now you know damn well that he LOVES
your ass as big as you can get it, and those jeans look perfect on it.
If he were to answer: "What butt babe"? You'd be highly upset and
offended.

We do sometimes fish for compliments in the case that maybe they're not
coming as often as we feel they should, and we do so by playing mind
games and reverse psycology to hear what we wanna hear.

At any rate... I guess men, you need to step it up in the compliments
department. Although it may not be low self esteem we're dealing with,
give our egos a stroke every now and then. It makes us feel sexier, and
more open to doing things with and for you.

We appreciate it!!!

But I never met you

Ten minutes before you loved me like I needed
Fulfilled me and completed
My heart and every desire
Set my soul on fire
Took me to that place to see
shook me up in ecstacy
Ten minutes before forever
Ten minutes after never
Ten minutes before you brightened my existance
And after you break down my resistance
Ten minutes before you show me what I've been missin'
And brought true all the things I've been wishin'
Ten minutes until I let you,
But it was ten minutes before I never met you.
© Deanna Dedee Morris, All rights reserved

Mental note

Once I saw you I knew I had to have you.

Turned on and full of lust I knew the challenge would be well worth it.
I found a way to get closer to you and we soon became friends. I made
you feel comfortable, and when you were ready and trusted me enough; you
unclothed yourself slowly as I watched in arousal.

First, your walls... one brick at a time you teased me until there were
no more. Then your inhibitions, slowly and strategically you stepped
right out of 'em. I caressed your trust in me... laid you on my bed of
lies and massaged away any doubt you may have had. I listened to you as
you moaned your feelings; which was just an added bonus.

I poured honey all over and licked it off with my words of flattery.
Then I located and fondled your innermost sensitive emotions, sucking,
teasing, stroking and made you mentally cum. Oh, but we're far from
done.

I laid down and let you take control and let you take my love exactly
how you wanted it. We changed positions to me pumping deep long strokes
of confidence from behind; hittin' that spot like only I can and making
you feel like we are one.

Now, I've got you all the way to the brink of ecstasy with talks of
eternity. I'm feeling like you've reached your peak and you have no more
to give.

As you now lay in submission, I let you have what you've been grasping
for: my heart, yeah you're ready. As I feel and watch you lose control
of yourself in your climatic state, I feel myself begin to lose control
too and attempt to pull out.

You pull me in closer and wrap your legs of desire and want around my
waist preventing me from doing so.

I stay and let you melt around my warm, throbbing member, allowing you
to think you had anything special to do with it.

Filled with the orgasmic sense of satisfaction of knowing I had the
ability to take you there.

Drenched in the sweet nectar pouring out of your heart, I simply wipe
myself off and with you there, in your naked state of vulnerability and
now, confusion...

I leave you in the afterglow of being mind f*ck'd.
P.S. Was it good for you? 'Cuz it was better for me.

© Deanna Dedee Morris, All rights reserved

Time Square Dopeness...

I'm goin to fashion week nyc one way or another!! 09/13/10
see you at the tents!!! :)

Time Square Dopeness

Poetically inclined: Gone

My heart drops as i hear the news over the phone.

Not really listening or believing. Not even fathoming the thought of
being alone.

Said "I'm sorry, he's gone..." and that "...nothin' more could be
done."

Numb all over even to my heart thinkin' "ain't no way he's gone!"

No emotion, no feeling no thoughts in my head

No actions no questions no words that could be said

All i feel is the urge to crawl back into bed

But I can't sleep, can't eat, can't think, can't speak

The words I want for momentarily I'm far too weak.

Afraid that if I open my mouth to form the words inside,

I won't be able to control my tears & sadness i've pushed aside.

So i sit and wonder: "How could this be...

how in the hell could he just leave me."

Why didn't i show him all the things I wanted him to see,

but never allowed him to. Too damned proud to just let free

the feelings i've kept bottled in, so focused on the bad.

never realizing what i could lose, and what i had.

So ready for the bad to occur and not wanting to be in too deep.

Not wanting him in my mind and heart to seep.

Tryin' to protect myself from the hurt I've felt before,

by keeping a pad lock on that door

that leads to my heart... tried so hard,

so hard.

So focused on the bad...

not realizing what i had.

I remember getting so mad,

when he'd forget to call,

and other "BIG" things which now seem so... small.

Not living in and cherishing the warmth of his kiss.

And the whole boat load of good things I'd miss,

if i ever had to go thru life without him.

Reality's setting in, and now life seems so dim.

Thinking of the times we shared and missin his love.

Feeling trapped... stuck... and unable to budge.

Devastation, desperation, and deprivation; all driving me insane.

I just want him to come back and for things to be the same.

But never... he won't,

and things don't.

he's moved on to bigger things, bigger plans, other people, better
place.

Yet every now and then... I still see his face.

In my book, my dreams, my mind, my space.

A part of my heart will forever be gone,

Forever belong,

To him... but I now know that I must move on.
Its only poetry for writer's sake!!

He said "women always want what they can't have."

Yeah you were right when u said we want what we can't have, but that's
true with us as humans
Not just with women
It'd be unfair 2 pretend 2 be feelin u
Knowin that u feel the way that u do
Stringin u along like a puppet on a string.
When in reality our relationship would be nothing more than a sharade, a
sham, a hoax, a phony, a fake.
Tell me what good or sense would that make.
None! And when u find out later on how would u feel?
That I had led u on instead of keepin it real.
How do u walk away pride in tact when truth is revealed?
Then I'd forever be labeled in ur heart and mind as a bitch.
All because I just couldn't figure out which
Way I wanna go (pause) and who with
The decision is mine 2 make & I can't make it
The cake is mine 4 the taking but I just can't take it
The dough is in the pan but I can't even bake it
(Lmao... I was on a roll)
Pile of leaves are on the ground but I just can't rake it *lmbbo!
I'm just emotionally disturbed
And itd be unfair because you don't deserve
To be taken/ dragged on this ride with me
My true feelings I've tried to hide from you 2 see
This internal war I've been secretly goin thru
Its got me not knowing what I wanna do
Tearing me up inside and killing me
Softly, slowly, but oh so surely
I'm done with that dude and all his bull-ish
All his lies, the whole thing and what came with it
Threw it all away, now its no more than a faded memory
Almost forgotten, reality settin in I'm startin 2 remember me
Lost myself in feelings, emotions, and what my heart's needing
Or what I thought it needed. That little thing can be so misleading
Led me to think that he was the one
Made me want to bear his daughter or son
Forced me to believe that one day I'd be his wife
He'd make me whole and complete his life
Forever and ever happy as hell
Where's fantasy & where's reality? I can't tell.
I don't know which one is crazy love, life him...
Or maybe just me my mind is growing dim
I don't kno if I believe in love anymore
I don't even kno what I've been fighting for
Never in my life have I felt that strong 4 1 man
And never again... I really don't think I can.
My heart's been broken beyond repair
Pain's unbearable beyond compare
I don't know if I can do this again
Or even if I want to from fear I may go insane
Love aint easy but its not supposed 2 be this hard
I just wish someone would've warned me from the start.
Cuz I would never wanna do that 2 someone else
And make them feel the way that I have felt.
So I'm sorry for any pain that I've caused you
But I can't be with you if I feel I'm being forced to
I hope you find someone who will love you as much as u love her
And that she won't be stuck in limbo heart belonging to another.

I don't think we want what we can't have... we just can't always have
what we want.
Its only poetry for writer's sake!!

The Broken Girl

ALL ALONE AND TOO CONFUSED, A LONELY, BROKEN GIRL DIES IN HER ROOM.
BEHIND CLOSED, LOCKED DOORS; IN BED SHE OFFICIALLY SLIPS OUT OF
EXISTANCE. SPIRITS SHOT, HOPES DEAD. SHE USE TO DREAM OF BEING NOTICED,
BUT OFTEN PRAYED TO BE GONE.

NO ONE REALLY KNEW THE TROUBLE SHE WAS IN UNTIL NOW - A VERY PRIVATE
PERSON, FORCED INTO SECLUSION. SHE WAS RIDDLED WITH HOPES OF BEING DEAD
FOR A WHILE NOW, FANTASIES OF HOW HER DEATH WOULD TAKE PLACE. "HOW
WILL IT FEEL?" "WILL IT BE INSTANT?" "WHAT WILL MY FINAL
THOUGHTS BE?" "WILL THEY MISS ME WHEN I'M FINALLY GONE?" THE
SERENE FEELING OF STILL PEACEFULNESS BLANKETS AND COMFORTS HER AT THE
MERE THOUGHT.

SOMETIMES IT MADE HER SMILE TO THINK OF FINALLY BEING AT PEACE- TO FALL
ASLEEP AND REST FOR GOOD. THE IDEA BROUGHT JOY TO HER HEART. OTHER TIMES
IT WOULD MAKE HER CRY TO THINK OF HOW OTHERS WOULD REACT TO THE NEWS OF
HER UNTIMELY DEMISE; THOUGHTS THAT WERE QUICKLY DISMISSED BY THE FACT:
"NO ONE WILL MISS ME."

TORTURED WITH FEELINGS OF UNWORTHINESS AND WORTHLESSNESS, SHE
COULDN''T FATHOM ANYONE MISSING HER IN THE LEAST BIT WITHOUT
LAUGHING AT THE THOUGHT. ANYTHING SHE WANTED, HOPED FOR, LOVED, OR
REACHED OUT FOR; FAILED, DIED, OR LEFT. UNEQIPPED WITH THE ABILITY TO
DEAL WITH THAT, HER ONLY REAL SOLUTION WAS TO STOP HOPING, LOVING, AND
REACHING.

NEVER BEING SEEN FOR WHO AND WHAT SHE WAS, GIVEN UP ON WANTING TO BE
HEARD. NEVER GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO REACH HER FULL POTENTIAL. LIVING A
LIFE IN PERMANENT INVISIBILITY DIDN'T SEEM FAIR TO HER. HELL, WHAT
KINDA LIFE IS THAT ANYWAY? CONSTANT SADNESS PLAGUED HER, AND INDEFINITE
DARKNESS CLOAKED HER. HER SADNESS SOON MORPHED INTO ANGER AND RAGE,
WHICH INTURN SPROUTED INTO RESENTMENT.

WITH NO ONE TO TALK TO, AND LACKING AN UNDERSTANDING OF HER OWN; SHE
BEGAN TO THINK SHE WAS CRAZY AND WAS AFRAID OF THAT LABEL. SHE REPRESSED
ALL OF HER FEELINGS OF EMPTINESS, LONELINESS AND SORROW, AND PAINTED A
SMILE ON FOR THE PUBLIC. SHE WORE NICE CLOTHES, HAIR STAYED NEAT. SHE
EVEN WALKED WITH A HIGH SENSE OF CONFIDENCE- A WALK THAT HAD BECOME HER
TRADEMARK IN HER NEIGHBORHOOD. BUT WHEN SHE WAS ALONE PHYSICALLY, AND NO
ONE WAS LOOKING; SHE CRIED HERSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A PRAYER IN
HER HEART THAT THIS WOULD ALL BE OVER REAL SOON. WHEN THE SUN WOULD RISE
AND SHE WOULD WAKE, SHE WAS ALWAYS DISAPPOINTED.

MANY DAYS SHE'D JUST lie THERE FOR HOURS AT A TIME; NOT EVEN
ATTEMPTING TO GET UP. "WHY DO I KEEP WAKING UP?" "WHY ARE YOU
KEEPING ME HERE, CANT YOU SEE I'M SUFFERING?"

AT FIRST SHE WAS AFRAID THAT THE THOUGHTS SHE WAS HAVING WERE SINFUL AND
DOUBTLESSLY THEY WERE; BUT AS TIME WENT ON AND THE PAIN GREW STRONGER,
SHE APPRECIATED THE GIFT OF LIFE AND THE SPIRIT IT WAS GIVEN IN, BUT IT
FELT LIKE A WASTE. LIFE WITH NO LOVE, NO PASSION, NO HOPE FOR
TOMORROW… IT MAY AS WELL BE TAKEN BACK. AN EARTHLY HOPE OF LIVING
FOREVER IN A PARADISE IN A PERFECT STATE, DIDN'T SEEM SO AWE INSPIRING
ANYMORE. "IF I DON'T WANT TO LIVE NOW- LIVING FOREVER SOUNDS TOO
LONG FOR ME." WITH THE FEELING OF HELPLESSNESS PAYING HER A CONSTANT
VISIT SHE'D HAD ENOUGH.

ANY AND EVERYTHING SHE ONCE FOUND JOY IN, NOW FELT LIKE A MEANINGLESS
CHORE. SHE GREW TIRED OF EATING, WEARY TO DRINK, IT ACHED TO BREATHE,
LOST HER SONG, RAN OUT OF THINGS TO WRITE ABOUT, AND LOST INSPIRATION OF
PRETTY PICTURES TO DRAW. HER FLAME THAT ONCE BURNED SO BRIGHT HAD
FIZZLED, AND SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT- AND DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW IF THERE
WAS ANYTHING THAT COULD REIGNITE IT.

A LUMP FORMED EVERYTIME SOMEONE WOULD ASK HER HOW SHE WAS DOING.
PHYSICALLY SHE WAS IN TOP SHAPE. MENTALLY, AND EMOTIONALLY SHE WAS UNDER
DISTRESS. A CANCER HAD FORMED IN HER PHYCHE AND THERE WAS NEITHER
TREATMENT NOR SURGERY THAT COULD REMOVE IT. SHE DIED A SLOW PAINFUL
EMOTIONAL DEATH LONG BEFORE THAT OF HER PHYSICAL.

LIFE WAS LIKE BEING CURSED TO ROAM THE EARTH SOULLESS, WITH NO PURPOSE
OR DESTINATION IN MIND; AND GIVEN NO OPTIONS OR CONTROL TO CHANGE IT.
SADLY ENOUGH NO ONE PAID ENOUGH ATTENTION TO THIS BROKEN GIRL TO NOTICE
THAT SHE WAS GONE. NOW AS SHE LIES ON THE GOURNEY BEING LOADED INTO THE
BACK OF THE CORONER'S VAN, THEY ALL CRY, AND SOME SCREAM OUT IN AGONY
AT THE LOSS OF THE GIRL THEY HAD LOST A LONG TIME AGO.

Myrick hair entries are moving to

http://myrick-hair.blogspot.com

Read "Mind f*ck'd" by diaryofabadblakbarB at Story write:

http://storywrite.com/story/456752

Its only poetry for writer's sake!!

Flaws and all

We can't look for perfection in an imperfect world. Ppl expect to be
accepted "flaws and all" and that's how it should be but the things
you're counting as flaws aren't flaws at all. Someone being obese or too
skinny is a flaw, some ppl can't help their weight for MANY reasons.
Having a mole in an obscure place is a flaw. Having a health or mental
illness is a flaw. Someone's assets being too big or too small
(depending on how u look at it) is a flaw.
I think ppl should check their definitions cuz flaws are things we can't
change in or about ourselves and have no choice but to embrace them and
hope others do the same. Lying- is not a flaw its something we can help
and stop doing. Neither is cheating or stealing; intentionally setting
out and going after something or someone that isn't yours... not a flaw!
Being a manipulative person isn't a flaw. Intentionally hurting others;
tearing them down and slandering their name, definitely not a flaw.
Smiling in peoples faces and turning around and talking bad about EVERY
single one of them. Doing and saying things that would naturally damage
trust and confidence in you is NOT A FLAW!!!
If I don't like you and choose to distance myself from you, its not
because I fail to accept your flaws... its becuz I refuse to tolerate
poor personality traits and bad intentions. I'm not perfect so I don't
expect perfection from anyone. But I will not subject myself to
intentional misconduct that's been slapped with a label of being a
flaw.
So when there ARE things we CAN change about us but we refuse to do
so... we can only expect to be rejected at some point. And can't sit
around making up sad stories and singing sad songs to convince ourselves
along with others, that WE are victims in the situation.
You basically got what you deserved get over it.

THE END