He said "women always want what they can't have."

Yeah you were right when u said we want what we can't have, but that's
true with us as humans
Not just with women
It'd be unfair 2 pretend 2 be feelin u
Knowin that u feel the way that u do
Stringin u along like a puppet on a string.
When in reality our relationship would be nothing more than a sharade, a
sham, a hoax, a phony, a fake.
Tell me what good or sense would that make.
None! And when u find out later on how would u feel?
That I had led u on instead of keepin it real.
How do u walk away pride in tact when truth is revealed?
Then I'd forever be labeled in ur heart and mind as a bitch.
All because I just couldn't figure out which
Way I wanna go (pause) and who with
The decision is mine 2 make & I can't make it
The cake is mine 4 the taking but I just can't take it
The dough is in the pan but I can't even bake it
(Lmao... I was on a roll)
Pile of leaves are on the ground but I just can't rake it *lmbbo!
I'm just emotionally disturbed
And itd be unfair because you don't deserve
To be taken/ dragged on this ride with me
My true feelings I've tried to hide from you 2 see
This internal war I've been secretly goin thru
Its got me not knowing what I wanna do
Tearing me up inside and killing me
Softly, slowly, but oh so surely
I'm done with that dude and all his bull-ish
All his lies, the whole thing and what came with it
Threw it all away, now its no more than a faded memory
Almost forgotten, reality settin in I'm startin 2 remember me
Lost myself in feelings, emotions, and what my heart's needing
Or what I thought it needed. That little thing can be so misleading
Led me to think that he was the one
Made me want to bear his daughter or son
Forced me to believe that one day I'd be his wife
He'd make me whole and complete his life
Forever and ever happy as hell
Where's fantasy & where's reality? I can't tell.
I don't know which one is crazy love, life him...
Or maybe just me my mind is growing dim
I don't kno if I believe in love anymore
I don't even kno what I've been fighting for
Never in my life have I felt that strong 4 1 man
And never again... I really don't think I can.
My heart's been broken beyond repair
Pain's unbearable beyond compare
I don't know if I can do this again
Or even if I want to from fear I may go insane
Love aint easy but its not supposed 2 be this hard
I just wish someone would've warned me from the start.
Cuz I would never wanna do that 2 someone else
And make them feel the way that I have felt.
So I'm sorry for any pain that I've caused you
But I can't be with you if I feel I'm being forced to
I hope you find someone who will love you as much as u love her
And that she won't be stuck in limbo heart belonging to another.

I don't think we want what we can't have... we just can't always have
what we want.
Its only poetry for writer's sake!!

The Broken Girl

ALL ALONE AND TOO CONFUSED, A LONELY, BROKEN GIRL DIES IN HER ROOM.
BEHIND CLOSED, LOCKED DOORS; IN BED SHE OFFICIALLY SLIPS OUT OF
EXISTANCE. SPIRITS SHOT, HOPES DEAD. SHE USE TO DREAM OF BEING NOTICED,
BUT OFTEN PRAYED TO BE GONE.

NO ONE REALLY KNEW THE TROUBLE SHE WAS IN UNTIL NOW - A VERY PRIVATE
PERSON, FORCED INTO SECLUSION. SHE WAS RIDDLED WITH HOPES OF BEING DEAD
FOR A WHILE NOW, FANTASIES OF HOW HER DEATH WOULD TAKE PLACE. "HOW
WILL IT FEEL?" "WILL IT BE INSTANT?" "WHAT WILL MY FINAL
THOUGHTS BE?" "WILL THEY MISS ME WHEN I'M FINALLY GONE?" THE
SERENE FEELING OF STILL PEACEFULNESS BLANKETS AND COMFORTS HER AT THE
MERE THOUGHT.

SOMETIMES IT MADE HER SMILE TO THINK OF FINALLY BEING AT PEACE- TO FALL
ASLEEP AND REST FOR GOOD. THE IDEA BROUGHT JOY TO HER HEART. OTHER TIMES
IT WOULD MAKE HER CRY TO THINK OF HOW OTHERS WOULD REACT TO THE NEWS OF
HER UNTIMELY DEMISE; THOUGHTS THAT WERE QUICKLY DISMISSED BY THE FACT:
"NO ONE WILL MISS ME."

TORTURED WITH FEELINGS OF UNWORTHINESS AND WORTHLESSNESS, SHE
COULDN''T FATHOM ANYONE MISSING HER IN THE LEAST BIT WITHOUT
LAUGHING AT THE THOUGHT. ANYTHING SHE WANTED, HOPED FOR, LOVED, OR
REACHED OUT FOR; FAILED, DIED, OR LEFT. UNEQIPPED WITH THE ABILITY TO
DEAL WITH THAT, HER ONLY REAL SOLUTION WAS TO STOP HOPING, LOVING, AND
REACHING.

NEVER BEING SEEN FOR WHO AND WHAT SHE WAS, GIVEN UP ON WANTING TO BE
HEARD. NEVER GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO REACH HER FULL POTENTIAL. LIVING A
LIFE IN PERMANENT INVISIBILITY DIDN'T SEEM FAIR TO HER. HELL, WHAT
KINDA LIFE IS THAT ANYWAY? CONSTANT SADNESS PLAGUED HER, AND INDEFINITE
DARKNESS CLOAKED HER. HER SADNESS SOON MORPHED INTO ANGER AND RAGE,
WHICH INTURN SPROUTED INTO RESENTMENT.

WITH NO ONE TO TALK TO, AND LACKING AN UNDERSTANDING OF HER OWN; SHE
BEGAN TO THINK SHE WAS CRAZY AND WAS AFRAID OF THAT LABEL. SHE REPRESSED
ALL OF HER FEELINGS OF EMPTINESS, LONELINESS AND SORROW, AND PAINTED A
SMILE ON FOR THE PUBLIC. SHE WORE NICE CLOTHES, HAIR STAYED NEAT. SHE
EVEN WALKED WITH A HIGH SENSE OF CONFIDENCE- A WALK THAT HAD BECOME HER
TRADEMARK IN HER NEIGHBORHOOD. BUT WHEN SHE WAS ALONE PHYSICALLY, AND NO
ONE WAS LOOKING; SHE CRIED HERSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A PRAYER IN
HER HEART THAT THIS WOULD ALL BE OVER REAL SOON. WHEN THE SUN WOULD RISE
AND SHE WOULD WAKE, SHE WAS ALWAYS DISAPPOINTED.

MANY DAYS SHE'D JUST lie THERE FOR HOURS AT A TIME; NOT EVEN
ATTEMPTING TO GET UP. "WHY DO I KEEP WAKING UP?" "WHY ARE YOU
KEEPING ME HERE, CANT YOU SEE I'M SUFFERING?"

AT FIRST SHE WAS AFRAID THAT THE THOUGHTS SHE WAS HAVING WERE SINFUL AND
DOUBTLESSLY THEY WERE; BUT AS TIME WENT ON AND THE PAIN GREW STRONGER,
SHE APPRECIATED THE GIFT OF LIFE AND THE SPIRIT IT WAS GIVEN IN, BUT IT
FELT LIKE A WASTE. LIFE WITH NO LOVE, NO PASSION, NO HOPE FOR
TOMORROW… IT MAY AS WELL BE TAKEN BACK. AN EARTHLY HOPE OF LIVING
FOREVER IN A PARADISE IN A PERFECT STATE, DIDN'T SEEM SO AWE INSPIRING
ANYMORE. "IF I DON'T WANT TO LIVE NOW- LIVING FOREVER SOUNDS TOO
LONG FOR ME." WITH THE FEELING OF HELPLESSNESS PAYING HER A CONSTANT
VISIT SHE'D HAD ENOUGH.

ANY AND EVERYTHING SHE ONCE FOUND JOY IN, NOW FELT LIKE A MEANINGLESS
CHORE. SHE GREW TIRED OF EATING, WEARY TO DRINK, IT ACHED TO BREATHE,
LOST HER SONG, RAN OUT OF THINGS TO WRITE ABOUT, AND LOST INSPIRATION OF
PRETTY PICTURES TO DRAW. HER FLAME THAT ONCE BURNED SO BRIGHT HAD
FIZZLED, AND SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT- AND DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW IF THERE
WAS ANYTHING THAT COULD REIGNITE IT.

A LUMP FORMED EVERYTIME SOMEONE WOULD ASK HER HOW SHE WAS DOING.
PHYSICALLY SHE WAS IN TOP SHAPE. MENTALLY, AND EMOTIONALLY SHE WAS UNDER
DISTRESS. A CANCER HAD FORMED IN HER PHYCHE AND THERE WAS NEITHER
TREATMENT NOR SURGERY THAT COULD REMOVE IT. SHE DIED A SLOW PAINFUL
EMOTIONAL DEATH LONG BEFORE THAT OF HER PHYSICAL.

LIFE WAS LIKE BEING CURSED TO ROAM THE EARTH SOULLESS, WITH NO PURPOSE
OR DESTINATION IN MIND; AND GIVEN NO OPTIONS OR CONTROL TO CHANGE IT.
SADLY ENOUGH NO ONE PAID ENOUGH ATTENTION TO THIS BROKEN GIRL TO NOTICE
THAT SHE WAS GONE. NOW AS SHE LIES ON THE GOURNEY BEING LOADED INTO THE
BACK OF THE CORONER'S VAN, THEY ALL CRY, AND SOME SCREAM OUT IN AGONY
AT THE LOSS OF THE GIRL THEY HAD LOST A LONG TIME AGO.

Myrick hair entries are moving to

http://myrick-hair.blogspot.com

Read "Mind f*ck'd" by diaryofabadblakbarB at Story write:

http://storywrite.com/story/456752

Its only poetry for writer's sake!!

Flaws and all

We can't look for perfection in an imperfect world. Ppl expect to be
accepted "flaws and all" and that's how it should be but the things
you're counting as flaws aren't flaws at all. Someone being obese or too
skinny is a flaw, some ppl can't help their weight for MANY reasons.
Having a mole in an obscure place is a flaw. Having a health or mental
illness is a flaw. Someone's assets being too big or too small
(depending on how u look at it) is a flaw.
I think ppl should check their definitions cuz flaws are things we can't
change in or about ourselves and have no choice but to embrace them and
hope others do the same. Lying- is not a flaw its something we can help
and stop doing. Neither is cheating or stealing; intentionally setting
out and going after something or someone that isn't yours... not a flaw!
Being a manipulative person isn't a flaw. Intentionally hurting others;
tearing them down and slandering their name, definitely not a flaw.
Smiling in peoples faces and turning around and talking bad about EVERY
single one of them. Doing and saying things that would naturally damage
trust and confidence in you is NOT A FLAW!!!
If I don't like you and choose to distance myself from you, its not
because I fail to accept your flaws... its becuz I refuse to tolerate
poor personality traits and bad intentions. I'm not perfect so I don't
expect perfection from anyone. But I will not subject myself to
intentional misconduct that's been slapped with a label of being a
flaw.
So when there ARE things we CAN change about us but we refuse to do
so... we can only expect to be rejected at some point. And can't sit
around making up sad stories and singing sad songs to convince ourselves
along with others, that WE are victims in the situation.
You basically got what you deserved get over it.

THE END