Free writing to free myself

Came 2 the conclusion that I'm tired of coasting along and allowing
others to take control, just waiting for things 2 happen the way I want
them to. I'm a good woman, with brains beauty and morals. I know my
strengths acknowlege my weaknesses and am sure of my worth. I know I'm
worthy of more than what I'm being offered and I'm done tolerating it.

I sat back and watched this series play out because I know I've done
wrong in the past and figured I'd let this shit play itself out in the
way it felt it needed to. So I'd finally be forgiven and we could get
past and move on from what happened years ago.

I liked the main character of this show and I was finally in a place
emotionally, and mentally to be ready for forward movement. I let the
walls down and opened myself up to allow my heart to accept ALL the good
I just knew was coming my way. Only to be deeply disappointed, and to be
(what I feel) intentionally hurt, to be gotten back at... instead of
what I thought; getting back with. Neglected and ignored is not 4 me.

I am not a pair of hard denim jeans, expensive leather shoes, or a
flippin wild horse... I do NOT need 2 be broken in, neither do I need 2
be broken down. I know my self worth and I kno I'm worthy of more... and
I'm NOT askin too much to ask to be treated like a queen. I have the
intentions, and ability 2 treat u like a king but I'm not gonna play
myself out doing so while I'm bein treated like the freakin court
jester... "homie don't play that". I kno my self worth, I know that I'm
worthy of more than I've been receiving here and I have no intentions or
even the right 2 expect or accept ANYTHING less.

So no more coasting for me. I'm takin the cruise control off, taking the
wheel and puttin the "pedal 2 the metal" and u can either get on board
or get left behind... either way I'm not gonna tie u up and force u 2
come along for the ride. But when I'm gone... I'm gone. And on that
note... I'm done!